I woke up this morning feeling panicked. This is the first time since Monday that I have felt properly in panic mode from waking up. I lay in bed and didn't want to move.
My mum came in and sat with me. Today I'm supposed to be going up into work to hand in my sickline.
On Monday, I'd been off for three days prior. I thought that panic I was feeling then was for the week to come and what I'd do with it. But now it's starting to feel a bit more clear.
Thinking about going in there is frightening me. I just can't work out why.
I've had some battles with the company I work for - some that I shouldn't get into now and especially so publicly. But I think this might be the root of my problem, which just feels so ridiculous. I have a sales job. Its not particularly difficult. I don't save lives. People don't depend on me to cure illness or solve world problems. I sell things. I'm pretty good at it. So why does such a low risk job make me feel like such a flight risk?
Questions.
My mum is coming up with me. I feel a little calmer now, but my hands are still trembling. I'll probably check in once I'm home. I just wanted to get this all out and write it down.
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